Listen Up - two essential keys to success 

Resources on: Listening, Mix, Ups and Tension

How to use two secrets of top communicators to correct problems in your listening skills you may be unaware of. To really succeed on a massive scale advanced communication skills are essential if you are to build deep rapport with other people. 

Once you can easily get rapport with anyone, your belief in your ability to deal with others will soar. Today we will look at a skill that few people master yet it can help you to create great relationships with work colleagues, family and friends. After learning the two keys to effective listening you will be well equipped for maximum persuasion.

A number of years ago I was talking to one of the salespeople in the office. He had returned after an intensive sales course, which was highly rated in the company. Since Chris was not only a very experienced but also a very successful salesman I was keen to ask him his opinion of the training. For Chris, much of the material was just more of the same but still a good refresher of the basics.

Then I asked him what was the most powerful distinction that he learned. Chris paused, and sat back in his chair before answering. Then he told me that he had learned today that for some time he had not really been listening to his customers. Instead when someone else is talking he is planning what he wants to say next so listening time was not been used to pay attention to the other person.

As Chris explained this, I realized that I was habitually doing the same thing! So I was keen to learn the solution. There are two keys. Firstly when someone else is talking decide to give him or her your complete attention, when you drift, remind yourself to listen and to put your attention back on the speaker.

This very simple decision to pay attention will cause you to listen more. Most of the time we are on autopilot and do not even notice that we have not decided if we want to listen, will listen or even care if we listen. At the beginning of the conversation decide to listen more and you will.

Secondly, when someone sounds like they are about to finish what they are saying - allow a pause before you start talking. Not only does this allow you to let their words sink in, it also allows you to make sure they really are finished! This builds rapport very quickly as few people are really good listeners. With practice you will discover how much of a pause works best for different people.

Most people jump in too soon and the other person does not feel that the person cares enough to really give them their undivided attention. Not listening effectively leads to mix ups and tension. Think of your closest friends, I am sure you go nuts if they do not listen to what you say!

Play with these ideas and notice the difference in how people respond to you. Hear what I am saying?

Peter Murphy is a peak performance expert and published author. Subscribe FREE to his upbeat newsletter and get a FREE e-book, Abolish Shyness – Steps to Success, which reveals secret strategies for supercharging your communication skills. To join send an email to: AbolishShynessToday-subscribe@topica.com http://www.topica.com/lists/AbolishShynessToday/
Listen Up - two essential keys to success 

How to use two secrets of top communicators to correct problems in your listening skills you may be unaware of. To really succeed on a massive scale advanced communication skills are essential if you are to build deep rapport with other people. 

Once you can easily get rapport with anyone, your belief in your ability to deal with others will soar. Today we will look at a skill that few people master yet it can help you to create great relationships with work colleagues, family and friends. After learning the two keys to effective listening you will be well equipped for maximum persuasion.

A number of years ago I was talking to one of the salespeople in the office. He had returned after an intensive sales course, which was highly rated in the company. Since Chris was not only a very experienced but also a very successful salesman I was keen to ask him his opinion of the training. For Chris, much of the material was just more of the same but still a good refresher of the basics.

Then I asked him what was the most powerful distinction that he learned. Chris paused, and sat back in his chair before answering. Then he told me that he had learned today that for some time he had not really been listening to his customers. Instead when someone else is talking he is planning what he wants to say next so listening time was not been used to pay attention to the other person.

As Chris explained this, I realized that I was habitually doing the same thing! So I was keen to learn the solution. There are two keys. Firstly when someone else is talking decide to give him or her your complete attention, when you drift, remind yourself to listen and to put your attention back on the speaker.

This very simple decision to pay attention will cause you to listen more. Most of the time we are on autopilot and do not even notice that we have not decided if we want to listen, will listen or even care if we listen. At the beginning of the conversation decide to listen more and you will.

Secondly, when someone sounds like they are about to finish what they are saying - allow a pause before you start talking. Not only does this allow you to let their words sink in, it also allows you to make sure they really are finished! This builds rapport very quickly as few people are really good listeners. With practice you will discover how much of a pause works best for different people.

Most people jump in too soon and the other person does not feel that the person cares enough to really give them their undivided attention. Not listening effectively leads to mix ups and tension. Think of your closest friends, I am sure you go nuts if they do not listen to what you say!

Play with these ideas and notice the difference in how people respond to you. Hear what I am saying?

Peter Murphy is a peak performance expert and published author. Subscribe FREE to his upbeat newsletter and get a FREE e-book, Abolish Shyness – Steps to Success, which reveals secret strategies for supercharging your communication skills. To join send an email to: AbolishShynessToday-subscribe@topica.com http://www.topica.com/lists/AbolishShynessToday/